i woke up today to a hammer...no the hammer wasnt making topical conversation with me about todays current economic climate. but it was face fucking some nails into a house. wtf? hey old man rivers quit your fucking knocking or im gonna start knocking. "knocking what?" he asks. "knocking you the fuck out!" is what i would have said if this conversation took place. his hammering getting louder and louder in proportion to my ever growing headache. wondering what the fuck this half blind legless mutha fucker is attempting to build i see him trying to hammer a nail into the wheelchair ramp he is building. feeling bad i ask "would you like a hand with that?" he replies with "that would be great i cant reach it because of..." i cut him off mid sentence. why? cause thats what i do. "well too fucking bad commander shitpants mc-nolegs i dont help fuckwits build old school pirate ships at 5am in the ass raping morning!!!".. he looks at me all teary eyed "but its not a ship, its a ramp so i can get in and out of my house without.." BOOM, cut off again. "well nugget nose im gonna come and give you a hand". what did i do? well i hopped the fence, grabbed that a-hole wheeled him down the street into the park, tipped him out of his chair and wheeled myself home. no more hammers and no more walking. i have the life now. the old man probably has none. but who cares, he was useless.
SITE UPDATE: