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Author Topic: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume  (Read 66 times)

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Dr. Julia Ghoulia

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Following are examples from resumes collected by Robert Half International that feature "accomplishments" that aren't worth mentioning in your resume, as well as advice for crafting statements that will catch a hiring manager's attention:

(full article here:)

http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-articles-_accomplishments_to_leave_off_your_resume-986



The Unquantifiable Accomplishment

"I am the most talented employee my company has ever had."
"I am the best and most awesome employee in New York City."
"My last client called me a god."


The Not-So-Notable Accomplishment

"Maintained a 2.0 GPA."
"I get along with coworkers."
"Overcame procrastination."


The Offbeat Accomplishment

"Set record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes."
"Raised over $6,000 for an organization by sitting on a commode."
"To be honest, the only thing I have ever won was a Cabbage Patch Kid. This doll was the result of a school raffle, and I was hated by many children for it."


The Mistake-Ridden Accomplishment

"I have successed in all my endeavors."
"Dum major with my high school band."
"I continually receive complaints on the high quality of work I perform."



That's some really useful information!!

Great stuff for active, or well, admittedly INACTIVE job seekers. A good resume is KEY and it's so sad when simply a poorly written resume can hold back a perfectly viable candidate!


Using these examples as a guideline from the article, maybe we can add some tips of our own to help a discouraged worker in the employment market spruce up an otherwise error-ridden, or shall we say "sparse" resume!  :)

Living Dead Girl

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2009, 09:11:54 pm »
writing that for 6yrs you succesfully ran your own business where your multi-tasking skills were tested and improved isnt good if that business was giving blow jobs for crack.....or motley crue photo passes...
aint no one giving me diseases or ill be breakin their di-knees-es. - luke2269 09/11/2009

Dr. Mikestone

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2009, 05:23:57 pm »
leave off .. knocked up some obese swine then got trapped into gettin maried to save e-rep...

leave on ...xcellent multitasking skills from staying at home for years with boloney sandwich in one hand and cock in other.

leave off...cant get compticket to motley show cause he aint got any clout and cant afford lawn seat.

leave on ...name address phone number.

Dr. Julia Ghoulia

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2009, 05:36:55 pm »
leave off .. knocked up some obese swine then got trapped into gettin maried to save e-rep...

leave on ...xcellent multitasking skills from staying at home for years with boloney sandwich in one hand and cock in other.

leave off...cant get compticket to motley show cause he aint got any clout and cant afford lawn seat.

leave on ...name address phone number.


OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dr. Mikestone

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2009, 06:26:22 pm »
The Unquantifiable Accomplishment

"i have an incredible e-rep that everyone should be impressed by'.


The Not-So-Notable Accomplishment

"administered a bands official website with a site membership of about 2 dozen people during the bands last tour."


The Offbeat Accomplishment

"stuck my jortnub into 250 lbs of oozing grizzle and got a job asa stay at home mom."

The Mistake-Ridden Accomplishment

"i dont get paid for administering the mc wbsite i do it for the perks".

Darth Bane

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2009, 06:54:58 pm »
The Unquantifiable Accomplishment

"i have an incredible e-rep that everyone should be impressed by'.


The Not-So-Notable Accomplishment

"administered a bands official website with a site membership of about 2 dozen people during the bands last tour."


The Offbeat Accomplishment

"stuck my jortnub into 250 lbs of oozing grizzle and got a job asa stay at home mom."

The Mistake-Ridden Accomplishment

"i dont get paid for administering the mc wbsite i do it for the perks".

LOL

Holy fuck !
"That's because they're a bunch of stubborn root-sucking jackasses holding onto traditions that are 1000 years old."

"Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion."




Darth Bane

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2009, 06:56:11 pm »
leave off .. knocked up some obese swine then got trapped into gettin maried to save e-rep...

leave on ...xcellent multitasking skills from staying at home for years with boloney sandwich in one hand and cock in other.

leave off...cant get compticket to motley show cause he aint got any clout and cant afford lawn seat.

leave on ...name address phone number.

LOLOL

« Last Edit October 21, 2009, 06:58:43 pm by Jortsquad_Goddess »
"That's because they're a bunch of stubborn root-sucking jackasses holding onto traditions that are 1000 years old."

"Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion."




Dr. Julia Ghoulia

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2009, 06:58:09 pm »
The Unquantifiable Accomplishment

"i have an incredible e-rep that everyone should be impressed by'.


The Not-So-Notable Accomplishment

"administered a bands official website with a site membership of about 2 dozen people during the bands last tour."


The Offbeat Accomplishment

"stuck my jortnub into 250 lbs of oozing grizzle and got a job asa stay at home mom."

The Mistake-Ridden Accomplishment

"i dont get paid for administering the mc wbsite i do it for the perks".

LOL

Holy fuck !




CLASSIC!!!!!!!
Living Dead Girl

belladancer

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2009, 07:24:44 pm »


leave on ...xcellent multitasking skills from staying at home for years with boloney sandwich in one hand and cock in other.


Maybe our site admin can get him to guest write a paragraph for hitsquad erotica?  :D

Dr. Julia Ghoulia

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2009, 08:00:22 pm »


leave on ...xcellent multitasking skills from staying at home for years with boloney sandwich in one hand and cock in other.


Maybe our site admin can get him to guest write a paragraph for hitsquad erotica?  :D


hahahahaha! Now my desk is spewed upon!!!
Living Dead Girl

belladancer

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Re: Resume building tips! 'Accomplishments' to Leave off Your Resume
« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2009, 09:38:09 am »


leave on ...xcellent multitasking skills from staying at home for years with boloney sandwich in one hand and cock in other.


Maybe our site admin can get him to guest write a paragraph for hitsquad erotica?  :D


hahahahaha! Now my desk is spewed upon!!!

 ;D

I took the liberty of writing that paragraph...I couldn't help myself...the visual was just too tempting.

 

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